Saturday, December 22, 2007


So I’m not really sure how to start this except to acknowledge that this is really my first attempt at a semi-regular blog. Within the last week my wife, Susie, and I learned that we are pregnant, and I have had a lot of emotions raging through me (98% of them are beyond ecstatic, I’ll get to that later). Though I don’t do it enough, I’ve found that I deal with thoughts best when I can organize them onto a piece of paper (or computer screen), so this blog is an attempt to make sense of my thoughts and feelings and update anyone out there that might be interested in the progress of the pregnancy. And if I’m having fun it just might turn into a baby update when he/she arrives! I have no idea how often I’ll update the blog or how long each post will be; I guess that will just have to evolve as it progresses. And since it’s my blog, I might digress into thoughts on life in general and you can read them or skip them if you want. The picture I attached is the sonogram at 7 weeks and 2 days (according to the technician). He/she is the lower left little white kidney bean.

I’d like to start by saying that God is beyond incredible and start by giving the credit solely to Him for His provision and timing. There are so many times that I think I know what’s best for me and I come to find through life’s circumstances that I am completely wrong and that I don’t really know much about anything. A baby is something that Susie and I have been praying for for quite some time now. I heard Beth Moore once say that when we pray sometimes God tells us to wait instead of a quick yes or no because He just enjoys conversation with us and if He gave us everything right when we asked for it we’d be conditioned to only talk with Him when we want something, sort of like going to the store. I could give many examples of my failures in this area in my life and frustrations brought upon myself and might devote a future blog to this idea because it’s obviously something that is taking multiple repetitions for me to learn.

I’m not a big fan of the phrase “we’ve really been trying for a baby.” When I hear a couple say that phrase it conjures up thoughts and images that I really would rather not have. So I won’t say that phrase, but I will say that for almost two years now we have not been actively trying to prevent a pregnancy. During that time I have carried on a dialogue with God regarding a child, because I really felt that our decision to not prevent pregnancy was brought on by the idea that we were ready to have a child. When people have asked when we are going to have a kid, I’ve often used the response, “we’ll have a kid when God decides I’m mature enough to be a dad.” This usually elicits a laugh, especially from people that know me and my childish side, but within my own spiritual journey I really never fully believed that statement until recently. I had this idea that we were in a stable situation and therefore I automatically was mature enough to be a dad. I think that sometimes God waits for us to be content in our situation before he adds and I think that was the case with me and wanting a kid. I was impatient for quite a while, and only recently have I truly become content with where I am and completely dependent on God and His timing.

Timing is everything in life, and I’m learning that God’s is always perfect, whether we realize it at the time or not. Susie’s due date is August 3rd. This is the perfect due date for our lives. Susie is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Instructional Systems Technology at Indiana University. An August 3rd due date allows her to complete her spring semester prior to being “really pregnant.” (Please realize that I may sometimes refer to pregnant terms in complete idiotic ignorance partly due to the fact that I’m an ignorant guy and partly because we’ve never done this before. I have no clue what it’s like to be “really” or “less” or any kind of pregnant and am quite thankful that I’m a guy, because I’m probably too much of a major wuss to carry a child.) An August 3rd due date allows Susie to finish her pregnancy without the added stress of exams and deadlines of assignments and papers. She’ll be able to take stock of how she’s doing and then decide on whether she’ll take a semester off or not. And because she is in school, there is a lot more flexibility in her schedule in caring for a baby. See? I told you God’s timing is amazing. He waited until Susie was established in her student-hood, then set her due date up just right. We also get to enjoy this news right before Christmas; it’s the perfect Christmas present.

I have a lot of thoughts I’d like to get down but I’m in the Memphis airport and my plane is about to board, so I need to shut the computer down. Hopefully I can use this Christmas break to work through a lot of my thoughts. I can’t wait to spend time with Susie’s side of the family over the holidays and share this joyous occasion with them during our joyous celebration of Christ’s birth. So I guess that’s all for now… I'll definitely be back later with more ramblings.

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